Murphy's Law
by alittlebluebird
Summary: "Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Such is the nature of Red Hook. A series of light-hearted vignettes in which our favourite werewolf and pirate work for and achieve their happily ever after.
1. Stranger

Red dumped herself onto her coach and sighed. She seemed to be doing an awful lot of that lately. It had been three days since the stranger had arrived, along with Snow and Emma. She was happy, of course, for her friends' safe return, but Red soon decided she did not like their hooked companion. She admitted his jaw line _was _more prominent than most, and his eyes…oh god, his _eyes_, but she refused to give in to the ruffled hair that refused to lie straight. No. She was stronger than that.

What had caused her to feel this way, you ask? He _winked _at her. It was not often Red judged someone on petty habits, but this wasn't one of those innocent winks you throw around for fun. It wasn't even a _friendly_ wink. He had sent it just to see her make a mess of the coffee she was making and hear her trip over her words. She was sure of it.

He had sauntered into the diner with his trademark smirk and sat himself down at the nearest booth. He ordered his meal with that rugged accent of his and threw her a smile. He didn't even say please.

So now you _must _understand why she hated his perfect smile and the mischievous glint in his eyes. She hated that he smelt like sea salt, cinnamon and beer and she hated the little accent of his. She hated that he could make her feel like she was a teenager again, and she decided she had the right to mope about it for as long as she deemed necessary.

He was a stranger. A rude, proud and awfully good-looking stranger. Who did he think he was, with his chest all puffed out and his shirt only half done up? She wouldn't fall for his bad boy act. She _wouldn't._


	2. Strawberry Milkshakes

**Another update, so soon? Aren't I good to you guys. ****All mistakes are mine, although I could maybe use a beta right about now...maybe. **

**Anywho, I should tell you that I do not own Once Upon A Time; only the complete first season on BluRay.**

**Oh, and all reviewers will receive their own, personal, milkshake-making Killian. So go on. Just type a few words into that friendly little box down the bottom. You know you want to. Humour me.**

**Until next time**

**Charlie  
xo**

* * *

The second time Red saw the stranger, he had ditched his leather pants in favour of a pair of jeans, and his leather coat hat been replaced with a cargo jacket. In fact, all that remained from his previous attire was his silver hook and sheathed sword still hanging from his waist, both looking horribly out of place. He walked into the diner at a leisurely pace, observing the small restaurant with much more curiosity than the first time he had visited. He slid into an unoccupied booth and started picking at the napkin dispenser. Red turned her head and muffled a snicker at his childlike demeanour.

Soon, it grew evident that he did not in fact intend to order anything, and Red had no choice but to confront him.

"So, are you gonna order anything, or are you just going to sit there and pull napkins out of that thing? Because I kind of have to put all of those back in."

He looked up and looked at her for a few seconds, before looking back down at his pile of napkins that had accumulated on the table.

"Have you got any mead?"

Red couldn't help but smile at his request.

"Still not used to this place, are you? I'm afraid not. We've got coffee, hot chocolates, sodas…milkshakes."

"Then I'll have one of those."

"What, a milkshake?"

"No better time than the present."

Red soon found herself making a very pink, strawberry milkshake. He still had that stupid grin on his face, but she had noticed it had lost some of it's irritating qualities, creating a more boyish and rugged look on his face. _But he still winked at you. _His jaw squarer than ever and his hair still spiked and messy. And she _was _making him a strawberry milkshake. _But he still winked at you._

Guilty of inappropriate winking or not, he still looked ridiculously cute when examining the pink beverage, and cuter still when taking his first sip with suspicious caution.

Red soon realised she would have looked just a little awkward staring at the stranger she _still _did not know the name of. _Come on, Rubes, say something._

"I don't like strawberry milkshakes."

_Oh, lovely. Nice going, Ruby. _

"I'm sorry?"

"I..they…they're just too sweet for me, I think. And I never liked pink. And bits of strawberry always get stuck between my teeth, and sometimes it's too thick. And strawberries cost an awful lot now so it doesn't matter anyway," she rambled, trying to make up for her awkward comment.

"Really?" he smirked, raising an eyebrow. "So you decided to give me one, anyway?"

"I-…uh…"

The stranger shook his head at her reddening face.

"Killian Jones. Pleased to make your acquaintance," he said, offering his hand.

Red stared at it for a few moments, not quite able to process the situation, before the action registered in her mind.

"Oh! I'm Rub-…Red. Pleased to meet you too," she finished, deciding it was best to remain formal, settling for a firm shake of his hand, before nervously looking around the now empty diner.

"Well, it was lovely meeting you, Red. I thank you for this milkshake of yours, and I hope to see you around."

And like that he slid out of his booth and sauntered out of the building, leaving Red with a deafening pulse and thoroughly confused.

_He still winked at me._


	3. Of Lemurs and the Sea

**Sorry about the wait on this one! I'm not sure I'm completely happy with this chapter, but I figured it'd be mean to keep you all from a chappy for so long. **

**Reviewers will receive their very own lemur from one Killian Jones. So type a few words into that friendly looking box down there. You know you want to.**

**Charlie  
xo**

* * *

It was one of those nights when Red was more agitated than most. When the moon was round and high, and everyone in town would regard her with shifty looks and whisper when they thought she couldn't see. In fact, sometimes even she wasn't sure she was safe to be around, despite the scarlet cloak securely fastened around her shoulders. So, it was now a monthly occurrence that Red would make her way into the woods at the edge of Storybrooke, hoping to escape the judgemental glares and the fear of losing control.

She rummaged through her room for a few essentials to insure her moderate comfort throughout the night. A warm blanket, her iPod, her phone, some water and a few snacks were all thrown into a pile, before she gathered them into a large basket. She put on her leather jacket, tightened the straps of her cloak, and walked out of the door.

Her leather boots made no noise as she made her way to her usual patch of forest, a small cliff overlooking the bridge, surrounded by lush, green bushes and trees. She sat herself down on the stable rock, her legs dangling off of the edge, and took a deep breath. It came out as more of a sigh. In the distance, a songbird sang it's tune, echoing through the woods, and her sensitive ears picked up the scurrying sounds of a squirrel. The air smelt of rain.

It wasn't long before she felt herself falling asleep, but she was reluctant to give in to the fatigue, wanting to be awake to make her way back home in the morning before Granny woke. She shoved her earphones into her ears, and turned on some music, hoping it'd drown out her thoughts. She moved back a few steps to make sure she wouldn't fall off, and laid down on her side. She closed her eyes, and let the first few beats of the music wash over her.

It was well and truly dark by the time she woke up. The air was cold and she soon realised she was shivering. The earphones had fallen out and she could make out a foreign sound in her hazy state. She blinked a few times, and sat up, growing aware of something…or rather, _someone, _beside her. She turned around abruptly, only to find herself centimetres away from the face of one Killian Jones, who happened to be staring right at her.

"You," she found herself say.

"Such lovely manners, as always."

"Well excuse me for being a little cautious when I wake up with an almost-stranger watching me sleep. Why are you even here?"

"I could ask you the same question. A young girl, all alone in the woods. You don't know what dangers might be lurking around places like these."

"Like you?" she retorted. She wasn't sure what was making her so defensive, but she decided it was about time she proved she wasn't the stuttering waitress he had met the other day.

"Precisely," he answered, flashing his trademark smirk. "And I believe you are avoiding the question, Miss Red."

"I asked first," was all she could come up with.

"Well, you see, this happens to be a place which holds a special place in my heart," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "So there was innocent little me, minding my own business, looking for some solitude, and I happen across a young maiden intruding on my territory. Which begs the question of why she was there in the first place."

Red looked down and pulled the cloak closer around herself. She immediately felt his eyes fall on the scarlet material hanging off of her shoulders.

"What a marvellous coat you have in your possession. I don't suppose you'd be interested in making a little deal?"

"It isn't for sale."

"Oh, really now? Then it'd be an awful plight indeed if someone were to take it from you," he drawled, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Suddenly, his hook was wrapping one corner of the fabric into a ball, and his hand was fiddling with the clasp at her neck.

Red immediately sprung into action. She pulled the fabric away from his hands and backed away to the edge of the cliff. She grew aware of her quickened pulse and the confusion in his eyes.

"Hey, I was only kidding," he said softly, offering her his hand.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," she whispered, taking his hand and moving away from the edge, tucking her knees underneath her chin.

"Well, I've never had someone so unwilling to be undressed by me before," he tried to joke. "Are you really that repulsed by me? I must say, I'm a little offended."

Red managed a little awkward laugh in reply.

"So, are you going to explain what's so special about that cloak or are we just going to sit in silence before someone decides to leave?"

"It's nothing. I just freaked for a second, that's all."

She knew he wouldn't believe her, but she hoped he'd get the hint and drop the subject. She looked up at the moon, and she could feel stubborn tears forming in her eyes. She reached into the basket and pulled out the blanket and two chocolate bars, offering one to the pirate.

"Have you ever thought about leaving?" he asked, after a few moments of silence.

"Before...or now?"

"Both."

"I-...Ruby used to want to go to Boston. Sometimes she'd spend hours studying maps and planning her days, but something would always stop her. She wanted to go see the lemurs, too."

"You only answered half of the question. Do you still think about leaving?"

"All the time. It's funny how it takes just one step to erase your entire life. All of your memories, pain, curses. Step over that tiny line, and they're all gone. What about you?"

"I haven't finished what I came here to do. I'm not leaving until it's done."

"But do you _think_ about leaving?"

"Sometimes. I think I just miss the sea. I don't know what'd happen if I left Storybrooke, though. Maybe I'd just disappear."

"I've never seen the ocean."

"Never?"

"No. Peter and I were going to build a cottage on the shore but...we never got around to it."

"Pity. You would've made a great pirate."

"I'd get bored hunting for petty treasure all the time."

"Not all treasure's silver and gold, little wolf. I hope you find what you're looking for here, but I must be on my way. Goodnight."

With that, he strutted away in the direction of town, leaving her mind buzzing and heart racing.


	4. Distractions

**Just a short one, for now. This chapter just didn't want to be written. I should mention I actually have no plan whatsoever as to where this story will go, and I'm kind of running out of ideas. So if any of you have any suggestions, please, please, _please _tell me.**

**Reviewers will receive a gorgeous ruby ring from one Killian Jones. So type a few words into that friendly looking box down there. You know you want to.**

**Charlie  
xo**

* * *

It was not often that Killian Jones found himself in a dilemma. Nor was it often that he found himself thinking excessively about particular people. However, he had noticed how a certain waitress had become increasingly present in his thoughts. Just minutes ago, he had been sorting the small sack of belongings he had brought with him to this world, and came across a ruby ring he once wore. While you would expect him to be reminded of home, the owner of a distinct red cloak came to his mind's eye.

This simply would not do. Killian Jones would _not _be distracted by a pretty face. He had a task that needed to be done, and a crocodile that needed to be skinned.

He had always prided himself on his inability to be distracted, but as their monthly meetings on a particular cliff went on, he seemed to have developed a soft spot for the waitress.

He sat down and ran his fingers across a tattoo on his wrist. 'Milah', it read. _Milah. _Perhaps that was what drew him to Red. They had the same wide-eyed expression, and the same thirst for something _more. _He shook his head at the thought. No, that wasn't it. Milah was much more angry at the world, desperate to find a way out. Red was willing to forgive and had a different type of courage, and a sense of serenity that Milah lacked.

_There you go again, Killian. Letting your mind wander back to her. _

He stood up abruptly and made his way to the pawn shop, determined to finish what he came to this world to do.


	5. Serendipity

**Ah! Please don't kill me! I promise I ****_tried _****to make more happen and to introduce some more interaction, but alas, writer's block was as awful as it's ever been. So here is your very, very late chappy which I'm still not sure I'm happy with. But I'm already writing the next one, which should be up soon. Give me three days.**

**Anywho, reviewers will be given a lovely choc-chip cookies by a Red or Hook of their choice. So type a few words into that friendly looking box down there.**

**Charlie**

**xo**

* * *

It wasn't often that Red found herself in an emotional dilemma. She just wasn't that type of girl. She wasn't like Snow, with her desperate need to do right by others. She wasn't like Emma either, distancing herself from all she could potentially care about. No. Red was more practical. She'd always make her decision with clear-headed determination, and then live with the consequences and move on.

But here she was, spending an entire afternoon with butterflies in her stomach and deep in thought. And all this about a _boy_ who she knew next to nothing about. At first, she'd blamed it on _Ruby_, because why else would she be attracted to him? Not for his personality or anything, obviously.

But as their monthly meetings on the cliff continued, she could sense her _non-existent_ feelings for him becoming...well...more existent. She didn't miss the exploding butterflies each time he smirked at her, or touched her, or even _looked_ at her. Nor did she miss the tinge of jealousy each time he talked to Emma, or Snow, or Belle, or even _Regina_. And when they talked, it felt like...no. She refused to use such an overused cliche. She wouldn't become one of those ditzy girls who starred in romantic comedies.

What did that even mean? Home? Home was back in the Enchanted Wood. What she felt with Peter by her side, and before she had to live with her..._ailment_. It most certainly was NOT the dark-eyed pirate who smelled like the sea and adventure. No.

The feelings would disappear, surely. Just like they had with Gus, and Graham, and Aug-..._Pinocchio_. They weren't even friends. What they had was simply the result of a serendipitous meeting, and it wasn't even like he cared about her or anything. To him, she was probably just a little girl infatuated with the idea of danger, and the world. The sea.

She groaned and ran her fingers through her hair. There she went again, letting her thoughts drift back to _him_. It _would_ pass. It had to. But for now, it'd remain a slight emotional inconvenience, and there was nothing she could do about it. _Again_.


	6. Plans

**I promised you a chapter, and here it is. It ****_was _****way longer, but it was a little jumpy when I read through it and I wasn't happy with it. So this is just the first tiny bit. The rest will be uploaded soon.**

**Reviews make me happy, and reviewers will be invited to a picnic with one Killian Jones. So type a few words into that friendly looking box down there.**

**Charlie  
xo**

* * *

One Killian Jones had made two important decisions on this particular day. The first was that he was going to postpone his bid for revenge. Only until he got a few (or one) inconvenient relationships sorted out, which always seemed to get in the way of whatever plans he made. The second was to sort out said relationship. Or rather…aquaintanceship-soon-to-be-almost-friendship. Perhaps.

it was one of _their _nights, and as little as he'd like to admit it, he had grown quite fond of their monthly meetings. He would even go as far as saying he looked forward to them. Only is his head, of course. Because Captain Hook was not one to _care _about anything, and he had a reputation to uphold, after all. But that didn't stop him from putting together a _picnic _for her. He stood up straight in front of his bed, unable to hold in a chuckle as he stared at the pile of food he had gathered on the floor of his room.

He had put quite a lot of effort into choosing each item that would go into the basket, especially the drink of choice. _Strawberry milk. _His heart _had _been set on milkshakes, but the diner was the only place he knew of that sold them, and he had wanted to keep his plans secret. But of course, he threw in a bottle of rum too, just for good measure. Because she _had _said she didn't like strawberry milkshakes, after all.


	7. A Picnic

**Another chapter? So soon? And a long one at that. I'm still not quite happy with it, but I've gone through it at least ten times and its not getting any better, so whatever.**

**Reviews make me happy, and reviewers will get the chance to share a bottle of rum with out pirate. So type a few words into that friendly looking box down there.**

**Charlie**

**xo**

* * *

Red made her way through the forest, and shivered a little at the icy wind as it cut through her clothes. She couldn't help but flinch at the crunching sound of her boots cutting through the silent night air. She reached the clearing expecting Killian to be there, waiting as he always had. Instead, she found a picnic blanket and a duffle bag sitting in his place. She practically skipped to the cliff, stumbling a little on a stray tree root.

"Killian?"

No answer.

"Killian!"

Still no answer.

_What if he's been arrested? Or kidna-_

A pair of hands grabbed her waist from behind, picking her up and and spinning her around.

"BOO!"

She thrashed wildly against her attacker, throwing punches at the direction of the voice until her fist collided with a hard surface. She was released immediately, and she spun around to face her foe, expecting to see the King or a masked mugger. She found, instead, Killian looking up at her cautiously, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"You," she heard herself say.

"You really have to work on those manners of yours, Miss Lucas," he smirked as he moved his hand away, revealing an angry bruise beginning to form.

"Oh, god! Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do we need to go to the hospital? Do you need a doc-"

"I'm fine, Red. Really. Although this wasn't the reaction I was expecting after going through the effort of putting together a picnic," he said in mock offence as he set himself down on the blanket.

"And you should know better than to jump out at innocent maidens happening to pass you by," she smiled as she set herself down beside him.

"Indeed I should. And yet, I shall miss those brain cells greatly."

"As you should. You obviously have precious little to spare."

"This is what I get for going through the trouble of organising this...feast? I'm not sure I want to share anymore."

"Too late," she giggled as she began digging through the duffle, pulling out a container and grabbing a strawberry from it's depths.

"Now that's just rude, Red."

"Oh, is that so?" she teased, biting into the juicy flesh. She chewed loudly, sucking each of her fingers dramatically.

"Indubitably. Don't you know that manners matter? Your granny will be so ashamed. And after all of the effort she put in to raise you right," he cried dramatically, smiling as he heard her soft giggles.

"You really shouldn't have expected so much from me, Killian, dearest."

"I'll never learn, will I? I'd come get it off of you, but I don't want to endure your wrath yet again. I hear my face is my greatest asset."

"Your only asset, obviously."

"Was that your twisted way of giving me a compliment?"

"Of course not! Who do you think I am?"

"Admit it. You think my face is pretty."

"Just keep telling yourself that."

"It was only a matter of time before you gave in to my charms. Everyone eventually does."

"Keep dreaming, kiddo."

"Well I think _your_ face is very pretty. The least you could do is pay back the compliment."

Red felt her cheeks burning and hoped the darkness would hide it from him.

"Silent, eh? That's an obvious sign of agreement. I've always been told I'm a pretty boy."

"Stop it!" she laughed, playfully shoving him away.

"Tell me, what else about me do you think is pretty? My dashing good looks are endless in description. My windswept hair? My high cheekbones? My lips? My smouldering gaze?" He struck a mock pose and winked at her.

_Yes, stomach. This is the perfect time to practice your backflips._

"Silent again! I shall take that as confirmation of all said attributes."

She shook her head at him, and began digging through the duffle.

"Hey! As instigator of said picnic, I believe that is my job." He pulled it from her and pulled out two thermoses, setting one in front of her.

She eyed the mug before twisting it open to find a steaming, orange liquid.

"I present to thee, entree, quality pumpkin soup. Courtesy of Granny's Diner." He motioned for her to drink before raising the cup to his lips.

She did as she was told, and she immediately felt the not liquid warm her cold insides. She found herself disappointed as the soup slowly disappeared, before she was finally finished.

Killian laughed at her dejected expression, before digging out another two bottles, filled with a pink liquid.

"Is that...?"

"Alas, no. You will find that is quite difficult to find a strawberry milkshake outside of the diner, so this is just strawberry milk. You have already found that there are, in fact, strawberries in this bag, but no more dessert until you've finished your food, yes?"

She nodded obediently as she sipped at her strawberry milk. It was still to sweet to her liking, but perhaps she could learn to like it. She watched as another container was pulled out of the bag.

"For mains, I present carbonara pasta with roast chicken. Courtesy of...well, me," he declared, opening the lid of the large box.

"How do I know you're not trying to poison me?" She teased.

"You don't," he smirked confidently. He pulled out two forks, handing her one and keeping the other. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he spoke. "I kind of ran out of containers, so we're going to have to share. Is that...okay?"

She grinned at the hopeful expression on his face. "No, brainless. Of course it's not okay," she deadpanned. "I'm willing to risk starvation and refuse delicious food because I'm scared out cooties." She stuck her fork in the pasta and began eating.

Killian followed her lead. "And there's another one of your twisted compliments."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Delicious food? Even _you_ can't deny that was a compliment."

"Maybe it was. You'll never know."

The rest of the meal was eaten in comfortable silence, and it wasn't until he was putting away the container that she spoke up.

"Can we have dessert now?"

"Patience is virtue, young grasshopper."

"Please?" she added, pouting just for good measure.

He sighed in mock annoyance and produced three boxes of strawberries and a small container of a white substance. He set them down before pulling two large bottles of _Dale and Jeffery's Best Brewed Rum_.

"I present dessert, strawberries and cream, along with a good bottle of rum."

She dug into the strawberries first, eyeing the alcohol cautiously. It was a stark contrast to the pirate, who was already a quarter through his bottle.

"You know, if you don't want your rum, I'll gladly have it."

Red instinctively closed her fingers around the bottle protectively. "You have your own."

"But I've yet to see you drink any of yours."

"Then I will."

"You should."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine!" she yelled, twisting off the lid and taking a large gulp. She tried not to wince at the bitter tang it left in her mouth, savouring the burn as it slid down her throat.

He looked at her with an amused expression.

"I bet I can take my alcohol better than you."

"Are you sure you want to mess with a pirate?"

"Is the great Captain Hook scared of losing?"

"Never."

*Let the games begin.


End file.
